Monday, September 17, 2007

Editors - What Makes Them The Way They Are - A Tongue In Cheek Look At Editors

Are your articles being subjected to unneeded column changes? Are you beginning to believe your writing's at fault? Think again! Here are some plausible grounds why not. Read on and experience good!

Why editors are the manner they are...

Have your pieces been mangled endlessly?

Rich Person you been at the receiving end of an editor's haughtiness lately?

Bash you apprehension seeing your name at the top of a muddled and contorted piece?

Have you felt like committing hara kiri? Giving it all up? Packing Material it all in?

Don't! Bent on! It's not what you think!

Read on and detect why editors are the manner they are, what could do them the manner they are and experience better…

A promising theory...

I have got a theory! It's a theory no ego righteous editor is going to accept. But it's one Iodine believe that all authors will lovingly embrace! And that is that most editors are a covetous lot! A lazy bunch! And how have got I reached these absurd conclusions? If you were a writer, you will undoubtedly hold and well if you were an editor, you might well desire to dump me and the articles I might direct you the adjacent time, into the omnipresent bin that sit downs adjacent to you.

They cognize no better...

My decisions are I'd wish to plead, based on experience. Much contrite experience .Of having my masterpieces, such as as they, are mutilated beyond fix by people, who should have got known better but who didn't. There is much truth, in the proverb that "those tin (will) 'do', while those who cannot, 'don't'". Use it to authors and editors and what make you have? Well those who 'can' will compose and those who 'can't' will happen great felicity in chopping, changing, cutting, rewriting something they would have got got liked to compose but could not have written in a hundred years! Get my point?

Itchy fingers...

Did I really state it 'like' that; could I have got actually written it 'that' way, you inquire for a defeated moment. But thrilled at seeing you articles in black and white you couldn't care less and transport on blithely. But when it haps again and again, euphoria gives manner to doubt, uncertainty to choler and choler to dejection. And when they make look sometimes without any cuts, alterations or revisions you actually experience blessed! You get to apprehension sending them in. You begin to lose confidence, even inquire if your authorship is at fault. No it's not. The very fact they are publishing it states its not. It's only because Supreme Being have itchy fingers!

The demand to play God...

To be an editor is to exert great power! The powerfulness to cut down hapless-talent to a diffident messiness or do an absolute no-talent into a Booker award winner! The powerfulness to reject is packed into their fidgety five finger fists. And if this doesn't give them an air of importance, I am Salman Rushdie!

The impulse to meddle...

While authors take great joyousness in producing stuff, that perhaps, cipher understands, editors take huge pridefulness in cutting both the author and that material down to size, so that person can understand. Or so they believe. The pleasure, I fancy they must justifiably experience when they see what must be to them an easily expendable ocean of words, is probably what do them tick. To trim, tidy and smarten up for their compulsory 'word limit' or whatever, a readily available originative 'mess'- with nary a idea to the amount of attempt that must have got gone into it! It must give them a euphoric rush! A hilarity much beyond mere words!

Writers are suckers...

Writers only write. They compose because they just have got to. It is a irresistible impulse from within that withstands all explanation. The demand to weave words into a tapestry that implores to be shared with the world! And this demand to be read, to share transcribed ideas such as as they are with others do them vulnerable. But it also do for powerful motivation. So these no-good word pursuers maintain awake half the nighttime and more, to bring forth what they believe are gemstones and function them up for our esteemed know-it -alls to make up one's mind whether those gemstones are what they would desire to bite, masticate and tongue out on their black and white platters! And if they don't like the taste sensation or the expression of it, these pearls don't even acquire to their mouths, bad first base! And why make you believe they take great delectation in running their column spit all over it? Because…

They can't write...

The mastermind of realisation states me that not all editors are good writers. Nor are they the last words, in anything! But they feign to be because they necessitate to be and with much clip and pattern they are able to be, by rejecting ,changing and deleting their manner through to do their mags sell and authors quail or how else would they gain their fat paychecks? Many a clip elusive niceties and gentle punnings are completely lost owed to an editor's deficiency of originative apprehension or an inflexible compulsory word limit. And there are no bad authors I was assured! Only bad editors! The inquiry originates –do we necessitate editors at all?

Do we necessitate editors?

Now don't acquire me incorrect Iodine am all for editors. And oh yes! We do, of course of study we do! How else would the mass media run? Who else would collect, co-ordinate, black and white and publish? Who else will state you whether your 1000 words is rubbish, rightly or wrongly? Who else have that alone ability to direct your assurance soaring or olfactory organ diving? Who else will make all the soiled work, you can't? Revile them, hatred them, but we can't make without them. And you make demand person to point out your accidental errors before the human race express joys at you. And I am not talking about spelling, grammar or mere punctuation. But I make wish, oh how I wish, they would restrict it to just that or at the least admit the fact even, grudgingly, that the mediocre louts who wrote the material are the best Judges of what they churn out.

Ill mannered...

They are at best an unresponsive folk who while calling the shots have got got forgotten the basic regulations of etiquette, their parents must surely have taught them. Bash you say they grew up without parents? That's it then! The ground why they don't acknowledge, they don't reply, they don't even at modern times trouble oneself to give you recognition for what you've delivered (i.e. till you've 'arrived'). Or is it simply a lawsuit of the 1 who plays the tobacco pipe career the tune?

Without authors would there be editors?

And rare is the editor who prosecutes in meaningful duologue with the humble writer. In fact, shouldn't it have got been the other manner round? What utilize his column paws if there were no articles to play around with? Without authors would there be editors? Alas a author is only as good as his last article, hence perhaps this impassive column 'hard to get' act.

If they could- wouldn't they?

And so my inquiry is, why would he, the exalted editor trust on endowment he have always to fix? If he could, wouldn't he surely have got done it all himself? Written it himself? Emphasize, "If he could". Answer. Simple: He can't! At least not all of them can! And how many good authors make you cognize who would willingly give up authorship to take up editing? So like most armchair critics, who always believe they cognize best, instead of leaving well alone, he put out to reject or mangle what he cannot green goods on his own! So then, I inquire you, what great solid emotion make you believe make him do this? I rest my case! Feel Better? Now make transport on authorship AND submitting!

1 comment:

sreelata menon said...

While I am flattered that you have
felt my article was good enough to plagerize and post it did you have to mangle/mutilate it so? And with no credit whatsoever to the author that is me?
Sreelatamenon